Cluck Cluck

Chicken #1

My first chicken in hatching. That's right, my first chicken. Ok, first of all, how I can knit just one of these things? B. My cousin weighed in and expressed extreme interest in a chicken of her own. And 3. I'm starting to think my mom may need one as well.

Again, this girl who developed the chart is pretty darn clever. I am enjoying knitting it (although, truth be told, it's best done without too much wine). My only real disappointment is that she created the chart for the smallest of the three sizes. I was hoping it was for one of the larger chickens. And a smarter, braver, math-ier person might be able to convert that, but I know my limits. It's going to be small chickens all around.

Very little progress...

Leah's socks have been finished and delivered.

Mom's socks, finished and delivered.

Emily's coffee sleeves, finished and delivered.

Kristin and Tiffany's socks--inching my way along on sock number 2 for each of them.

Snowbird mittens--a whole 3/4 of an inch!

With free sock needles, I'm getting the itch to start more! It's all I can do not to allow myself to begin Scott's Alpaca Sox pair, especially now that my circular needles are again free. And I have piles of Jane's Lorna's Laces calling my name....Actually the only reason I haven't started the socks for Scott (husband to Kristin) is time.

With my husband working a 2nd job at night four nights a week, and then with me working on the weekends, I spend a lot of time dealing with things around the house all by myself (except for the giant dead rat in my driveway. That I waited for Mike to deal with. There are some things I JUST WON'T DO). But between the laundry, school shopping, refereeing Lego ownership, the laundry, convincing Ryan to eat his lunch, cleaning up popsicle drips off the kitchen floor which is interesting because I have a strict popsicles-only-outside-policy, the laundry...well, you get the picture. I'm not complaining, mind you. We're very grateful for the work. There are still a lot of people out of work, or waiting for the ax to fall. And finally finally finally, we are no longer those people. But as a result, my bathrooms don't always get the attention they deserve and my garden....oh dear. Well, fortunately, most of my beloveds will continue to grow even if I don't have time to tend them.

In less than a week I will officially have a 4th grader and a 1st grader, I will be able to rid myself of the giant pile of school supplies sitting on my dining room table, and peace will be restored to my kingdom once again. Between the hours of 8:00 and 3:15. All I need is some cold rainy weather and my joy will be complete!

Making Progress...

Leah's Lilypad Socks

Hello people--I'm back. I have several things to share with you today, so prepare to be impressed!

1. Deer update: it seems the deer have taken my threats to murder them in their sleep seriously, as they appear to have moved on to greener pastures. Which means my tomato plants are laden with tomatoes and my rose bushes are short, but in full bloom. Any deer reading this, be for- warned--I shoot to kill.

2. I suck as a photographer. Jared Flood says that knitted items look best when photographed in natural lighting. So that is what I did today. I took all of the items I wanted to share with you outside and photographed them on the deck. Which apparently I did wrong because the sun was too bright and everything looks washed out. Whatever. If you squint real hard you can see Leah's finished Lilypad socks (see Leah, FINISHED).

Socks for Mom

3. I'm getting close on my mom's Mixed Berries Monkey Socks,

Socks for Tiffany

4. I'm starting on sock #2 for Tiffany...

Socks for Kristin

5. ...and I'm making good progress on Kristin's socks. Whew! That's a lot of socks! I'm a little embarrassed to tell you how much sock yarn I have left, thanks to Jane, but I will tell you that it's somewhere in the neighborhood of a baker's dozen....

Coffee Sleeve #1

6. I'm especially proud of this picture, being the worst of all the photographs I took today. Wow. This one is truly bad. But you still get the gist. My sister Emily has been hinting about coffee sleeves. Emily is a hairdresser. And more importantly, she is my hairdresser. And the irony is, she is one of those weirdos who never wears socks. Ever. Dead of winter--no socks. Here I am, oodles of sock yarn coming out my ears, and no point in gifting her with the only way I can afford to pay her (did I mention I never have to pay her?). So when she mentioned coffee sleeves, I remembered that my new Knitted Gifts book has a pattern for a great coffee sleeve. This first one I did in a charcoal gray Cascade 220 tweed (which is well hidden by the beauty of this natural lighting).

Coffee Sleeve #2

...and this second one I am doing in a brand new yarn called Brae Tweed, which is a merino, llama, and bamboo blend. I'm putting cables in this one, just to mix things up. This is a fair trade for a cut and color every 5 weeks, don't you think? No, I don't think so either, but it's a start!

One Step Closer

7. And finally, the piece d'resistance--I bought the pattern for the chicken this week. I think I shared this with you a few months ago, and it has been on my short list ever since I laid eyes on it.

Now, the original pattern, by Blue Sky Alpacas (and let's be fair, Susan B. Anderson) is fine. Cute, but not compelling to me. But when I saw that someone actually created this design and knit it up in these striking colors, well, there is no WAY I'm not going to make this thing! This has my friend, Heidi, written all over it. Between Christmas and her birthday, this will be gifted to her. And I can say all of this loud and clear on my blog because she will never ever read it.

Heidi is a dear friend. One of my best friends. And I don't believe she has ever read my blog. To be fair, I don't think she has ever read anyone's blog. Heidi cares less about technology than anyone I know (although she may be neck in neck with my mother, who can't find her own daughter's blog). So I can talk about Heidi and the gift I'm going to make her all day long on this site and she will never ever ever know of it. When I give it to her, she will be totally and completely surprised. Heidi Heidi Heidi Heidi! See--she can't hear me.

This particular chicken is made out of Cascade 220, which is so completely affordable. The pattern cost me all of $5.50, and the chart was generously made free by ElleM, who, let's face it, is a genius.

And now, I have 2 hours left of freedom before picking up my boys from their playdate. Then the fun will really begin when I take Eric to the doctor during rush hour to confirm his case of Fifth Disease (don't freak out people who have been around Eric--it's NOT contagious. I repeat, mother of Blake, NOT contagious). But since his rash currently makes him look like he's gone 6 rounds as a prize fighter, I'm thinking someone with an actual medical degree should confirm the diagnosis that I came up with via Shirley-the-neighbor and Cori-the-nurse. Rumor has it, the rash from Fifth Disease can last for weeks. Good thing they moved school pictures up to September 1st!

I'd love to stay and chat all day, but I don't want to. I'm going to bask in my last 2 hours of solitude.

Royal Update

Actual Rose Buds!

OH HEAVENS TO MURGATROYD IT IS HOT THIS WEEK. Ok, fine. I know I complain about the heat all the time and I'm always telling you about THE HOTTEST WEEK OF THE YEAR. But this time I mean it. No, really. Seattle is in for record heat. Tomorrow it is suppose to reach 101 at SeaTac. And that always means a good 5 degrees hotter where I am.

People, we're not equipped for this here in Seattle. We have no air conditioning. We have no swimming pools. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we live by the water and can go to the beach.....THERE IS NO SHADE AT THE BEACH AND IT'S GOING TO BE 105 DEGREES. I can't cope with this weather. It makes me yell. The inside of my house reached 91 yesterday. That is with all the doors and windows open and the fan blowing. Currently it is 10:00 am and it's already 81 inside my house. Last night I actually sent my boys to bed with ziplock bags filled with ice.

I could complain about this all the live long day, but I do have other news to report. Namely, the deer seem to have disappeared. Perhaps they died of heatstroke. We can only hope. Actually, I have noticed their absence for the last few weeks, but didn't say anything in case they read my blog and were waiting for me to report that I have actual roses on my rose bushes and tomatoes on my tomato plants. Truly, now that I have shared this news with all of you, I will not be the least bit surprised if I wake up tomorrow morning to find that they all came back to the Keene breakfast buffet. I really do hate those deer with the same intensity as the hatred I have for the heat. Which proves my theory that they are creatures straight out of hell.

It's Here It's Here!

I'm telling you--nothing makes me crankier than a thermostat that reads anything over 72.

I do have some happy news to report: my beloved new book arrived! It came early and it came to me free of charge--how much happier could that make me, I ask you?

Hobby Horse

I just have to show you some of the projects I plan to make the next time money drops from the sky into my lap and the space/time continuum opens up and gives me 5 extra kid free hours each day.

Can you believe this Hobby Horse? Does this not have that baby, Blake, written all over it. Ok fine, you don't actually know him, but if you had a baby boy in your life, don't tell me you wouldn't be thinking of making this for him.

Gentleman's Scarf

I know it's hard to see the texture of this scarf from your vantage point, but trust me when I say, this scarf is stunning. They knit it out of a fine gauge cashmere/silk blend. We have some Blue Sky Alpaca Silk in a sport weight at the shop that I think would be equally beautiful. I do have a couple of men in mind that I think would actually wear this.

Texter Gloves

How funny are these?

Ballet Flats

I don't see myself making these anytime soon, but I just had to show them to you to give you an idea of how beautiful this book is.

Animal Crackers

Truly, I would have taken a picture of each project in this book, but my fingers are starting to fuse to the keyboard. There is a baby blanket that is flat out beautiful. There are great socks. Even the hat and mittens on the cover--a must knit for my niece Ellie who loves light blue hats.

I mean, honestly, when will I ever knit these things? But at least validate me in that this book is a MUST HAVE. And a girl can dream, can't she?

Today I'm taking the boys to see Ice Age, purely for the 2 hours of air conditioning. It will be a nice break from listening to the bickering over the slip 'n slide and the placement of the sprinkler.

For the moment, I'm going to try to get some knitting done before the yarn self combusts in my hands.

Weekly Update

Catawampus Hat

Hello All. I'm back again--this time with the pictures I promised. I have several updates for you, none of which is job related. We are STILL waiting to hear back from that interview. Apparently a key person was out of town for the week. Which is a very valid excuse for not calling my husband for a second interview and offering him the job with buckets of money. However, it was a long week waiting to hear that information. So we continue to look, and apply, and wait....

The scene of the crime

The deer. Sons of Satan. Masters of evil. Behind those soft brown eyes and fuzzy nose is the face of a killer.

So, I built this little fence out of the deer netting my friend gave me, but it seems it was not tall enough. Woke up one morning to find the tops of my roses and tomato plants gone. Fine. Need to build a taller fence. Keeping in mind of course that we're broke. Mike and I rummaged through the garage and found several pieces of spare molding that are quite tall and stuck those around the roses, draping the netting over them. It looks hideous. It looks awful. And I still don't think it's working.

Tuesday I went out in the garden for a bit to weed. I noticed one rose bush, closest to the house, actually had 3 roses on it. This bush is, honestly, not 10 feet from the big glass door which opens to the living room. It's right there. And on the other side of that door is the couch. The couch where I sat that afternoon to knit, with my back to the rose bushes. Later on that day I went outside to cut some peonies and thought I might as well cut those 3 roses while I'm at it.

Gone. The roses were gone. In broad daylight, just feet from me, while I had my back turned, they disappeared. The netting is still intact....72hours later I am still baffled. Roses there in the morning, gone in the afternoon. All I had to do was just turn my head. Now, you have to know, I have a big back yard. Any deer coming into my yard in broad daylight is walking several yards to get to those roses. And walking up onto the deck. That deer was 5 feet from me and I was completely oblivious to it. Lately I've been keeping that door wide open--I can only imagine how fun that would have been....

See that planter? Right there.
That is where the deer was.

My next trick is to remove the netting and place pieces of Irish Spring soap all around the rose garden. I've been told the strong scent is unpleasant to the deer and keeps them away. I'm not yet ready to let my husband pee in my garden, but I'm getting closer.

Who!

The knitting: I finished the Catawampus hat for my nephew Jack. I think it's a pretty awesome hat--just perfect for an 8 year old boy.And I'm nearly finished with Blake's owl hat. I just have to find little buttons for the owl eyes, to make them really stand out. This was a fun hat to make. I had a couple of skeins of Debbie Bliss Wool/Cotton in my stash (and where that came from, I'll never know!) and it was an easy knit. So fun, in fact, that I think my manager Mara will get one for her impending kid as well.

And I'm making Kristin a pair of Narragansett socks from A Fine Fleece out of the Pagewood Farms sock yarn that Jane gave me.

Narragansett Socks

Things that are broken at my house: Car window is fixed, Ryan's eyes are not. He had a thorough eye exam and they were not convinced he needed glasses. Apparently the eye doctor has seen a lot of kids lately who are complaining of blurry vision, and she thinks it might be the stress of the end of the school year. Perhaps that goes along with the fact that he has been pure evil lately. I'm suppose to bring him back in 6 weeks to see if there is any improvement.

The tv: Yes, after 8 months, Dish Network and our ABC affiliate finally came to an agreement and we now have ABC again. Actually, we have no idea how long we have had it back, since Dish didn't actually inform us of it. Mike just stumbled upon it a couple of night ago. "Hey, look at that--channel 4 is back". THAT is customer service, I tell you. No apologies, no notifications, in fact, no communication whatsoever. Clearly Dish is run by men. And what do you bet they remove the free channel they gave us for robbing us of ABC? Dish had given us The Hallmark Movie Channel as a special prize to make up for losing the ability to watch Lost, Desperate Housewives, The Academy Awards and the NBA Finals (when I emailed to ask if they planned to show The Academy Awards on The Hallmark Movie Channel, they didn't actually give me a response). I don't particularly want The Hallmark Movie Channel and don't really care if it is part of my package, but it would be just like them to try to charge us for another channel that is clearly costing them nothing, now that we've gotten access to ABC again.

I think the president of Dish Network is a deer.

Thursday News

Ellie's Koolhaas Hat

Hello people--yep, it's Thursday again. My unofficial blogging day. Let's see, what's new in my world. A whole lot of nothing.

I did finish my niece Ellie's Koolhaas hat, which I think is pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. And I know she will love it, so I'm very excited to give it to her. Even my husband, a person lacking in all details, commented on how much he liked it.

What's new on the job front, you ask? Well, Mike had his job interview a week ago. It was a screening interview, which he thought went well. And what have we heard since then? Zippo. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Goose Egg. So the hunt continues. We are still hoping to hear from this particular company, but until an actual offer presents itself, the search must go on. And on. And on....Don't I sound optimistic and hopeful? I'm just a bright ray of sunshine these days. In fact, if you ask "how are you?" in just the right way, I may burst into tears right in front of you. Just ask Tiffany's mother-in-law. Oh yes, I'm just spreading happiness and joy where ever I go these days.

Glenwood Socks for Caroline

I did finish my sister's socks, so that can be considered a worthy accomplishment.

I also have a couple more hats I am making, one for Ellie's brother, and one for that baby Blake, but naturally I forgot to take pictures of them before beginning this post, so you lose. We'll try for next time, ok?

And now it's time for a really fun segment called ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN AT MY HOUSE:

1. The garage door. Yep, still broken. Apparently those things don't fix themselves.

2. The front window. See #1.

3. My tomato plants and roses. The deer fencing I put up apparently was not tall enough, as I discovered the other morning. Bastards.

4. My Blue Potato Vine, the crowning glory of my front yard. A helpless victim of this last winter's prolonged subfreezing temperatures, now an ugly brown stump. In my front yard.

5. My husband's laptop, i.e. job-hunting-machine. His monitor stops working periodically. For significant periods of time. Very helpful when you're at Starbucks for the day researching jobs and in the middle of an on-line application. That's not frustrating at all.

6. Alice, the passive aggressing neurotic peeing cat. She seems to be irked at us again. For any number of reasons. And is taking it out on our comforter. Again.

7. The sucking/dirt picking up power of my Target vacuum.

8. Ryan's eyes. Apparently he can't see anymore, so he gets to go to the eye doctor tomorrow to determine if he needs glasses. That doesn't sound expensive at all.

9. And the newest addition to ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN AT MY HOUSE: my car window. Yep, that's right. The driver's side window to my van. Which I stupidly opened yesterday while waiting in the car at school so Eric and I wouldn't suffocate in 80 degree weather. As I started the car I tried to shut the window and heard a loud CLUNK. Which is the sound of my window being stuck inside of the door. ARE YOU &#@!*@& kidding me?!? That was an actual fist-shaking-to-the-heavens moment for me. Really. The car window. Two days before it is suppose to rain. The ONLY thing that kept me from completely losing it with a car full of kids is the fact that my brother-in-law owns a garage. Guess he'll get a pair of socks too. That Jane has no idea how her sock yarn is blessing the people in my life.

The broken window comes on the heels of our dead 4 year old refrigerator (according to Sears, this was our fault for failing to vacuum under our fridge on a regular basis and so the dust that collected overheated the motor. Seriously, that is what the Sears repairman said. First of all, that is never going to happen. Second of all, see #7). So you can see why I'm feeling especially cursed these days.

You may now refer to me as Mrs. Job.

Q & A with the Queen

Ryan's party

Yep, it's time once again for Q & A with the Queen!

1. How was Ryan's party? I will say, out of all those kids you see there, Eric (the only kid who refused to turn around and be in the picture, the little booger) was the loudest. Eric is the consummate little brother: "guys guys hey guys listen to this guys!" Ryan has a nice group of friends, and he adores his cousins, Ellie and Jack, so it was a good group.

At the movies

2. How was the movie? We saw Night at the Museum II. Which contained 2 monkeys, rather than just the 1 from the original Night at the Museum. And if you are are 9 year old boy, 2 monkeys are always better than 1.

After seeing this fine film, which I'm sure will go down in the annals of movie history, we came back to the house where everyone played soccer with Ryan's new soccer ball. And alienated all of our neighbors.

Spring has sprung!

3. What's new on the job front? Oh, my favorite topic. Thank you for asking. Mike actually has another interview a week from today. So we are very excited about that. And we continue to apply for jobs, along with 59080923 of our closest friends in the greater Seattle area. Our city currently has a 9% unemployment rate. How encouraging is that!

4. What is that gray post in the middle of your garden? Oh that. Yeah, that is what is left of my bird bath. I'm sure a deer took it out. They are out to get me. I bet one of them dared the other to sneak up to the house and tip it over. Actually this part of the garden is not as appealing to the deer. I didn't take a picture of my roses or tomato plants because it would make you too too sad.

Today a friend gave me some deer netting. I've been toying with the idea, but let's face it--not attractive. But since I didn't have to pay for it, I've decided to give it a go. So my rose garden, which is directly outside of my large living room window, is now surrounded by a wall of deer netting. So pretty. Pretty pretty. It does cause much less emotional damage to my children than waking up to a dismembered deer carcass and seeing their mother trying to get bloodstains out of her pajamas, so we'll try this solution first.

Caroline's socks

5. Knitting anything lately? I'm in the home stretch of Caroline's socks and Leah's socks are becoming pretty darn adorable. I tried to do a couple of fun things with Leah's Lilypad socks, but nothing looked right. In the end I decided that the striping was just perfect as it was. I did leave the picot cuff because it is just too precious. So, sorry Leah. I still want to make you those Biological Clock socks, but we'll have to pick a solid color yarn for that.

Leah's socks

Ellie's Koolhaas hat

6. Whatever happened to those Sonata Mittens? Oh, those. Well, I was right. Knitting them on 2's was not going to work. My stitches looked too uneven. Cascade Heritage is really meant to be knit on 1's, so I started over and that is what I'm doing. I know Kristin and/or Meghan is wanting a pair, but I think we'll have to do them in mail-ordered Lorna's Laces to get the gauge right for your man-hands.

7. Have you abandoned Mike's Town and Country sweater altogether? I know it looks that way, and for a while that was the case, but I did pick it up the other day and knit several rows. In all my spare time.

8. Please tell me you haven't started any other new projects. Well, I did begin a Koolhaas hat for my niece, Ellie. Ellie is 11 and loves light blue. And hats. I had this Cascade Superwash just doing nothing in my stash, so I selected several patterns for Ellie to choose from and this is the hat she wants.

9. And speaking of new projects, have you seen Susan B. Anderson's Knit Chickens? Oh my word. You have no idea. Actually the regular old chickens from the pattern are cute, but not terribly compelling to me. HOWEVER. I then saw what someone did with them and now I MUST knit this chicken once I rejoin society. I know. I've said that about a rather long list of projects. This blog is full of projects that I plan to knit someday. Someday....people, when I am rich and famous, I will knit all of these things I keep telling you I plan to knit.

10. Say, isn't it about time for Bob's Mom's Funeral Salad again? Yes indeed, it is that time of the year when I start making vats of Bob's Mom's Funeral Salad. About 35 years ago my dad's best friend's mom died. The friend being Bob. Story goes, at the funeral, there was this fantastic pasta salad that my mom couldn't get enough of--shrimp, pickles, olives, celery, sliced boiled eggs...not knowing who brought this salad, my mom replicated it the best she could and made it every summer when I was growing up. And we have always called it Bob's Mom's Funeral Salad. When we were dating Mike had some that my mom made and it was love at first sight. The salad, not my mom. He affectionately just calls it Funeral Salad and his eyes light up like a kid on Christmas morning when I have THE BIG TUPPERWARE sitting in the fridge, ready for him to dive in.

Well, must run along now. My children have been especially, shall we say, challenging (i.e. evil) this week and I'm starting to get the vibe (i.e. yelling) from their father that things are starting to disintegrate again. Ta ta for now!

That Old Adage Is a Crock

"No News Is Good News" my ass. Know what No News means? It means NO NEWS. It means we know nothing. It means I have oodles and oodles of time to allow my brain to fill with thoughts of Why?! Why haven't they called? What are they DOING over there? They said we would hear this week, which means I was expecting a call first thing Monday morning. Because I know that if I were wanting to offer a job to someone as perfect as my husband, I would want to call AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. It is now Wednesday. Clearly they have given the job to someone else and we will wind up jobless and homeless, living in a tent. Perhaps they found out about his inability to sweep. Maybe they caught a glimpse of the inside of his car. I know that would scare me off. This job is now dead to me. Thinking that will allow me to go on.

People, welcome to my brain. Enjoy the preview into the workings of an anxious, glass-half-empty, neurotic, fear-based 40 year old. A little sneak peek into my constant conversations with God, in which I ask, beg, plead, cajole, bargain, reason, and pretty much drive myself crazy with my inability to understand why we have been living our own mini version of the recession for the last two years and why it will never ever ever end and I will be forced to spend the rest of my life as a basket case because I wasn't suppose to spend this much time with my husband until he retired. And the day he retires I plan to get him a lifetime supply of golf lessons. WHICH I CAN'T AFFORD TO DO WITHOUT A PAYCHECK. So you see my dilemma.

To recap, Mike has applied for 489084989890284938787598043 jobs. He adds to that list daily. He has "networked" and "connected" and "Linked In" and "Facebooked" with every person he has ever met in his life. Think I'm kidding? This is a guy who connects with people he knows from elementary school on Facebook. And communicates with them regularly. There is not a person in his life that does not know that Mike is looking for a job. Any job. A way to spend 40 hours each week making money. So we can not only continue living in this cracker jack box we call home, but we can replace our dead garage door, our broken front window, and replace our disintegrated gate to keep out the deer that continue to eat my roses and tomato plants. I would shoot them but I can't afford a gun.

And then here comes a fabulous job. Really. This job is fantastic. This isn't just a way to kill 40 hours each week. This is not only a job for which is well qualified, but it is a job he would like. A lot. And he actually gets an interview. And it goes well. He is pleased with how he did. He thinks he has a shot. And I actually start to dream of the day I can purchase my own bb gun and pick off those rat bastard deer that suddenly think my back yard is an all-you-can-eat buffet. And then, because my brain has the special ability to always look for the absolute worst case scenario, that is where I have taken up permanent residence. I am a lot of fun to be around right now.

I know that in the whole scheme of things and the entire spectrum of problems I could be facing, this is manageable. A lost job can some how, some day be remedied. My next door neighbor just learned that he has Parkinson's. My 46-year-old-father-of-2-neighbor has Parkinson's. They are waiting to get in to a specialist, and while they wait he is getting to experience a whole myriad of symptoms that involve the inability to use half of his appendages. To put it mildly, they are freaking out. As well they should. So I do recognize that things in my life could actually be a whole lot worse. But people, I am done. DONE.

There. A picture of something I knit. Now, back to me. Today I will spend the entire day staring anxiously at my husband, who has this illness that causes him to remain calm in the face of danger and adversity, I will probably clean something, I may knit a baby hat, I will once again curse Dish Network for continuing to withhold ABC from their paying customers (well, mostly) on Lost night FOR NO GOOD REASON, and then I will go to bed in pretty much the same frame of mind in which I awoke this morning. And this is why wine was invented.

Still Here....

His Father's Son

Still here. No job news to report. Just thought I'd get that out of the way up front. Still searching for jobs--check. Still applying--check. Waiting ever so patiently for SOMEONE TO CALL US WITH AN INTERVIEW--check. Oh, sorry--was I yelling just then?

Other than that, life around here is, well, we're all still alive. The boys see Emily, Daniel, and Connor every single day. In fact, Connor is here right now as we speak. He did give us the courtesy of ringing the doorbell before entering and completely making himself at home this time. So that's something.

And it's all Pokemon all the time. The other day Ryan used his allowance to buy himself a Pokemon magazine with a master checklist in it. And being the son of a baseball card collector from way way (way) back, Ryan very systematically and methodically went through his entire collection of Pokemon cards and checked off each and every one with that skinny little left hand of his.

Sock Hat
Made with leftover
Mini Raggi sock yarn

I'm knitting baby hats for the shops by day (well, when I'm not folding everyone's laundry. And vacuuming up the dirt from my carpet from the entire neighborhood running in and out of my house 500 times a day. And picking up Pokemon cards from every surface of my home) and knitting for fun at night.

This is a baby hat I made for a pregnant friend out of leftover sock yarn. Pretty darn cute, if you ask me!

Lorna's Laces for Me

And this sock is for me, made from some of the Lorna's Laces my dear friend Jane gave me. Much of the yarn she gives me is going to others in the form of socks, but this colorway was for me and me alone. I'm hoping to make the mate someday.

Mom's Druid Mittens

I am so close to finishing mom's mittens,

Pat's Socks

and Pat's socks are coming along nicely.

More from Jane
Black Purl, Baltic Sea,
and Lily Pad

On Sunday my dear friend Jane showed up at the shop with more sock yarn for me. This is the 3rd time she has gifted me from her crazy stash of Lorna's Laces. I protested. She insisted. I reminded her that the Black Purl is her favorite. Apparently she had 4 skeins of it. It seemed to genuinely make her happy to give it to me.

Lately Mike and I have been the recipients of many such gifts. Random and unexpected gifts from people who feel led to help us out. Cash, clothing money (and I'm delighted to tell you that I have new spring pants to wear to work. In the spring. New spring pants. And it was no small feat finding those pants, being the size of a normal human being who is 40 and bore two children. Who ARE these people shaped like sticks who are buying these clothes?), plants for my pots, Safeway gift cards, picking up the tab for dinner...this seems to be a season when we are suppose to be receiving blessings from others.

I don't know about you, but I'm a pray-er. And these days I've been praying A LOT. And even though God isn't quite ready to give us a job yet, He does seem to enjoy blessing us through other people. So I accepted Jane's gift of yarn, because I have no money for yarn and it made her so happy to give it to me. And even though she doesn't know the half of what's happening in my life (apparently she doesn't do computers, so reading my blog is out), she is a blessing to me. She blesses me with her company every Sunday afternoon, and even though she knows how delighted I am by the sock yarn, she has no idea of how much it means to me right now.

I want Mike to get a job for many reasons. Many many reasons. I have a list a mile long of reasons why my husband needs a full time job. But high on that list is the ability to bless others the way they have blessed us. And honestly, before this big mess of unemployment and destitution, I'll admit that giving to others wasn't high on my list of priorities. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a horribly selfish person. I don't think I was stingy. I just was sort of looking out for #1. But seeing how people have been so incredibly generous to us--now I can't wait for it to be my turn.

Now I have to send Connor back from where he came and then figure out what to make for dinner for two people who have no intention of eating it. Maybe one of these days someone will bless me with a housekeeper and a cook. Now THAT would be a miracle!

Q & A with the Queen

Mike and the boys have left for a trip to Target, where the boys are planning to spend the money they earned picking up pinecones in Walter's yard, and feeding the other neighbor's dog, Ginger, over the weekend. Which means I have time to answer your burning questions!

Any news on the job front?
That would be a No. To date, Mike has applied for approximately 5498751987845784 jobs. Roughly. He's making good contacts, blah blah blah and I'm sure God has a darn good reason why interviews are not filling up Mike's dance card, despite my repeated requests. I would be delighted to know what that reason is. In the meantime, we're pressing onward in the job hunt. What did we all do before the internet? That is what I would like to know.

Does Eric really use The Snuggie?
Each and every day.

Seriously?
Seriously.

So Mike is done working his temporary job?
Yes indeedy. And, lucky me, this has started during Spring Break. I have ALL 3 BOYS here with me this week. It's like a family vacation gone bad. No one in this house is doing what they are suppose to be doing. Mike is not rushing off late to work, I'm not trying to convince Eric to get dressed for school, I don't have my designated Baby Hat Knitting Time while the 3 mess-makers are where they are suppose to be....today I spent hours in the yard while the boys ran themselves ragged all over the neighborhood (after picking up Walter's pinecones. In which he is sorry he agreed to 2 cents a pinecone since he apparently shelled out much more than originally budgeted. But since most of it went to his own daughter, I find it kind of funny). In fact, I was surprised to see the phone guy show up to fix our phone line that was apparently gnawed by small animals outside the kitchen window (perhaps the same animal that broke my birdbath. I'm developing a deep hatred of small animals. And big animals. But I digress) because it felt so much like a Saturday. But no, it's Monday and no one is where they are suppose to be. NO ONE IS WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE. I know that is grammatically incorrect, but it is SO TRUE.

You worked in the yard today? Does that mean is has finally stopped snowing?
Yes, 4 days ago it snowed, and today it's in the 70's. Both boys got sunburns and begged to play in the sprinkler. And by the end of the week it is supposed to be cold and rainy again. Seattle has apparently moved to the midwest.

As The Knitting Queen, are you actually knitting anything these days?
Let's see...Mike's Town & Country sweater is currently in a big heap. I have completed 1 Duet sock, 1 sock for Pat, 1/2 of a sock for Caroline, 1 mitten for my mom, and 1/2 of another Lorna's Laces sock, courtesy of my dear friend Jane. I think I'm too preoccupied with Mike's job hunt and our impending doom because I seem to be unable to finish anything I start these days. I have so many half finished projects that I really think I need to restrict myself from starting anything else. But as any knitter will tell you, the lure of the new project is always there. Especially when you actually have the yarn and the pattern. I could probably start 7 or 8 more projects. There are times when my stash calls to me. Loudly. But my knitting is so schizophrenic these days that adding one more project might make it spontaneously combust.

Did you know Keith Urban has a new album?
Oh yes. And guess who actually had enough money in her itunes account to get it....

Is Eric truly into Junie B. Jones?
Oh yes, that Junie B--she makes us laugh. Currently we're reading Junie B. is a Cheater Pants. Eric, that kid, is an enigma.

How is that baby, Blake?
We babysat Blake the other night. He has teeth, crawls, eats food--all that real baby stuff now. He is 10 months old (I think...is that right? Maybe 9 1/2. I don't know. I'm preoccupied, people!) and pretty darn cute. The boys and I read books to him before bed and that baby sat on Ryan's lap and listened to all of If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Donald Duck and the Case Of the Missing Peanuts with more patience than Eric has.

I think those people will be returning at any moment. Sigh.....if I can magically make them all disappear again sometime this week, you may see me again. If not, then you'll know that I've smothered by the mess that can only come from 2 boys and their father during a week at home.

To Do

1. Write blog post.

2. Put away King and Queen's clean laundry. There are currently 3 baskets of laundry cluttering up the royal boudoir and we can barely walk through the room. I noticed this morning that some of the King's laundry magically landed in his side of the closet. Some. And none of the Queen's. And all 3 baskets are still there. That was helpful. Thanks.

3. Sanitize our biohazard-like bathrooms.

4. Stare longingly at my unattended-to overgrown garden and cry.

5. Knit 4989 baby hats.

6. Take Eric to Target to pick out a birthday gift for his friend, Tyler, while trying to escape with only a gift for Tyler. Eric is strong, but I'm stronger. The King is no longer allowed to take the children to Target. Or Bartells. Or Safeway. Or past the popcorn stand at Pumpkin Carving Night at the kid's school last night after I specifically said NO because I bought them popcorn at the book fair earlier that day.

7. Invent a microscopic sized bazooka to eradicate the fruit flies that continue to plague my house despite the fact that we have been so vigilant about keeping no fruit around at all. All fresh fruit is in the fridge and the King has banned bananas from the house. Yet the fruit flies continue to grow in number. I actually have to keep a coaster over my glass of wine at night. That's how bad it is.

8. Post more lever shocks on Ebay. Evil Ebay. I hate you.

9. Vacuum. It's been a while.

10. Try to finish reading my overdue copy of World Without End before the library fines start to overtake the actual cost of the book.

11. Try to convince Daniel-the-silent-neighbor-boy to talk to me, or acknowledge my existance, while he spends the afternoon here.

12. In keeping with today's theme, bathe my kids. It's been a while.

13. Knit 890984 hats.

14. Fix Caroline's socks so that they fit her. Because apparently I forgot how to knit socks. Or her feet grew and she forgot to tell me.

15. Drink. After this list, I deserve it!

The Queen was at Balmoral!

I wish. Actually The Queen was stuck right here in Renton, unable to manage her life. And suddenly it has been 2 weeks (2 weeks!) since blogging.

First of all, I turned 40. After developing a sudden and severe case of osteoporosis, followed by high cholesterol, I allowed my family to shower me with gifts (Mike gave me this AWESOME Jordana Paige knitting bag. And the latest Sharon Kay Penman book. My favoritist) and then I worked all week. I don't normally work during the week, but someone was on vacation and it was a chance for me to pick up some extra hours. And a great way to GET NOTHING ELSE DONE.

Holy smokes. How do working moms do this? Seriously. There was no dinner. There was no clean laundry. We had dishes piled to the ceiling. Every room in my house was a complete disaster. Complete. Disaster. And I was too tired to care enough to actually clean something. And since the male species seems to be genetically deficient in this area, we've been living in squalor.

Second, it's hat season. It's Hat Season, People! Everybody wants a baby hat. So I'm doubling up on the Glucosamine and knitting like a mad woman. Personal knitting is on temporary hold until I can get a handle on these hats. Seriously. Dozens of hats.

Third, I'm still trying to figure out this Lever Shocks business. I really hate Ebay. Ebay benefits no one but Ebay. They get you with the fees coming and going. It's a great way to show the entire world what you have to sell, but I really hate the whole Ebay culture. So now I'm learning all about Hemmings Motor News. I'll stop boring you any further details on that subject.

Fourth, Mike turned 40. That was much more fun for me! The boys and I bought him a Wii Fit, which is the most fun we have all had in a long long time. Now, when I will settle into a fitness routine is anyone's guess. Apparently I'll be waking up at 4:00 am in order to have that fit into my day. I'm not really there yet. But watching the boys Wii Fit is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. Think I'm joking? Eric is all about the virtual hula hoop. And Ryan is aces at step aerobics. Eric is ski jumping at this very moment, making this blog post possible.

And then our friends threw us a combined birthday party this weekend. It was really really fun. Our dinner group transformed Andy and Michelle's house into a casino and about 30 of us played Bunco while we ate and drank the night away. And our favorite gift was this beautiful maple tree the dinner group gave us. We're so excited about it! We found the perfect spot for it and I'm going to buy stakes today so we can get it into the ground before the next wind storm. I know I should have taken a picture of it, and I will, but if you want to read anything new on this site this month, you will just have to use your imagination.

Fifth, we all got colds. I'm saying this so you will feel sorry for me. Because mine is worse than everyone elses. I just know it is. And my husband's laptop keeps going into cardiac arrest so he keeps using my computer. And I have to bring my children to and from school. Because the imaginary nanny I dreamed up can't actually do that for me. She sucks at putting the laundry away, too.

Hmmm....Eric is starting the yoga portion of the Wii Fit. I think I need to check this out...

The Home Stretch

So Close!

I am within about 3 inches of finishing the last piece of the sweater. I am also on my last ball of yarn, which is a pretty serious concern since I will still have to add the button band and collar. I'm hoping to finish knitting the sleeve today and then, technically, I could block the pieces today. Blocking takes some time, so we'll see how that goes, but this is a huge milestone!

I am really nervous to sew it up. I have another cardigan that fits me perfectly, so I will be using that as my model when I block the pieces, but, well, you all know why I am nervous. I designed this sweater and it is suppose to fit me. I can't even go there. One crisis at a time.

We are out of this yarn at the shop. I know we are out of it because I took each and every skein we had when I selected it for the sweater class. And we have not reordered. I also know this because I am intimately familiar with every single solitary ball of yarn we have. That's what happens on a slow day at work. After months of rearranging displays and profiling yarn on sleepy Sunday afternoons, we have become one.

The yarn I chose for this sweater is Sublime Extra-Fine Merino Wool DK. And even though we no longer have any of this in Putty, what we do have is Sublime Cashmere Merino Silk DK in Putty. It is the exact same color and the exact same weight. It just has a bunch of cashmere and silk thrown in. Which means that my button band and collar will be extra luxurious because that is what I am using. I couldn't bear the thought of ordering the yarn for just a couple of balls and then waiting for it to come in when I'm ready to do this NOW. So I checked a couple of the Cashmere Merino Silk skeins out of inventory and I'm back in business. Wish me luck!

Sock Wars prize

Yesterday in the mail I received my socks from Sock Wars III! Yes, I know I had given up on them, and well, the game took a very weird turn. Someone else took over and there is a group still playing. And somehow my name ended up on that list. One of the participants contacted me a few weeks ago and asked where I was in all of this. I was pretty honest with her and explained that, not only do I not have time for this, but the communication is so wacky that I just have given up.

Well, this girl is way into it. She has already knit 5 pairs of socks and is still going strong. She asked if I wanted her next pair, as technically I was her next target. I very sheepishly explained that I had already ripped out the sock I had been making because the pattern was so poorly written, so I would only have a ball of yarn to send her. She seemed fine with that and, voila, here are the socks she made me! This girl is very sweet and I think I would have had a lot more fun playing the game if everyone had had her attitude.

In other knitting news, I think I may be knitting a dishcloth. This is news because I truly don't understand the world of knitting dishcloths. Other than the fact that they make a great my-first-knitting-project, I see no need. I can't imagine anything more boring. Fine--it's a reusable resource granola granola granola...I have better things to do. And then I found this on Wilde Thyme Knits blog: a martini glass dishcloth (which she got from Bavgirl). And I know a certain someone at My Pink Toes who has a little thing for the martini....

The baby hat business is crazy busy as usual. I took a week off from Willow and Bloom to get caught up on some other things and I'm sure that will come back to bite me since I kind of forgot that Day Camp is next week. Which only affects me in that I'm in charge of snacks for 300 kids for the week (and I was smart and took my husband to Costco with me this year to avoid a repeat of the 1-girl-2-Costco-shopping-carts-fiasco of 2007). And no, I didn't really forget that we had Day Camp. I just didn't think long and hard about the implication of taking the week off when I will have no time NO TIME next week to get anything done.

Other exciting things in my life? I discovered that vinegar really does kill weeds, my sister is bringing me back a I'm Not A Plastic Bag knock off from a street vendor she found on her trip to New York, and AT & T said it's finally time to replace my 2 year old duct taped together cell phone. Any suggestions?

Weekend Update

Linda's Socks

We survived the barn sale. We spent much of the 4th setting up, and then we were up and at 'em by 6:30 in the morning to prepare for the day. Everything went exactly as I predicted.

My mom left many items unpriced. I had teased her, yelled at her scolded her, cajoled her...and yet throughout the day people kept coming up to pay for items that were unpriced. Items like vintage linens. Not nice enough to be sold in her shop, but clearly worth more than a quarter. Mike declared our section of the barn "Jackie's Dollar Store" and sold every unpriced item for $1.00. And since her phone was indeed turned off when I tried to call her in the shop, I wholeheartedly supported his decision. When she came to check in with us hours later, we explained that we didn't think she was making very much at her Dollar Store. She did laugh at that, which was better than her reaction earlier that morning when she thought the coffee pot wasn't working and preceded to yell at my dad, who was not actually on the property at that time, because none of his extension cords were working, when in actuality it was the light on her coffee pot which was not working.

She did manage to iron her outfit for the sale. She ironed her outfit for the barn sale.

These sales are amazing. We had 6 vendors on the property, all good friends of my parents, and people came in droves. Which gave my dad ample opportunity to talk about his tractors, his tomato plants, vintage gas pump, Airstream, the remodel job on the house, and the Geiger counter that he sold for $20.

My mom was a little disappointed that she only made $1000 (think of how Mike and I felt about the $106 we made) since 2 years ago she made over $3000. She also got me thinking about buying her spare antique chicken incubator to transform into a kitchen island, since her friend Karen has one in her house and it is ADORABLE and my current kitchen island is hideous. An eyesore. I loathe it. And yes, I did say spare chicken incubator. Giving a couple of antique dealers 6 acres in which to house their treasures is a dangerous thing.

I got quite a bit of knitting done that weekend. I made good progress on the sweater sleeve, made 2 baby hats, and am now 2/3 of the way done with the first sock for Mike's mom.

We arrived home at 8:00 Saturday night, after waiting in the ferry line for 90 minutes and I immediately started on the laundry. I hope to fold it one of these days.

I did manage to putter in my garden for a few moments and was able to put this together. I never ceases to amaze me that all of this grows, year after year. It is with such a sense of joy that I can say "I didn't kill it!". Sadly, I am unable to say the same about our "grass".

Today I have to take 2 boys to Target and try to get out of there with just a birthday gift for a little girl. And no, Eric, I don't think she likes Venom. Then tomorrow we get to attend said party at Chuck E Cheese. Kill me now.

Oh Yeah...I have a camera!

Future Stud

I went a little crazy with the camera this morning, but it's a good way to show you what I have been up to this week. And a good way to show you what Eric has not been up to this week.

Here is my little angel. My sweet little lazy shiftless goal-less 5 year old bum. Eric's shirt got wet this morning. His solution? To wrap himself in his blanket. He sees no point in going all the way upstairs to get clean clothing when he is so perfectly comfortable right where he is. Truly, when Eric grows up, he would like to be retired. He would like nothing more than to sit around in yesterday's pj's and thumb through the paper.

Eric's job
And the only productive thing he has done all day.

Eric continues to be a little schizophrenic about his passions. It is often a fluid transition from The Chipmunks to Indiana Jones to Spiderman to unemployed-moocher-living-on-my-couch-until-Dr. Phil-gives-me-the-power-to-kick-his-butt-into-gear-and-force-him-to-get-a-job. And often it's a combination of them all. His passion du jour has been making comic books and he can spend hours, in his Spiderman costume, or half naked, drawing on a stack of paper that has 46 staples in it. All the while quietly humming "Christmas Christmas time is here...."

Sock Wars
I guess weapons
don't work very well
if you don't use them

I do believe I have been a bit more productive this week than that little bum. Although my progress with Sock Wars III is not good. I have no time to do this. I never should have signed up for it. And the person who is to assassinate me clearly should not have signed up for it either because I am still alive. I have been waiting to die for 2 weeks now, and nothing. Nearly 50% of the participants are dead and I am not one of them. I feel bad. It was never my intention to be such a flake and I fully intend to send my unfinished socks to my assassin to keep the game going, but where is she?!? I feel like I need to lob a ball of yarn her way just to give her a hint of what an easy mark I am.

The Office

Because this is how I have been spending my time. Knitting hats. Tons and tons of hats. Orders, orders everywhere. My hands are actually sore from knitting hats. I knit every chance I get to try to catch up on these hats. I'm making decent progress, but there is no time for me to fight a war. I was suppose to go to my final sweater class last night but someone came home late from work, so I ended up not going. Not that I've had any time to work on the sweater, but I would still like to know how Shiori wants us to finish up. So I stayed home, watched 27 Dresses (the worst movie I have seen in a long time) and knit more hats.

The Front Garden
Is that Potato Vine crazy?!

In wildlife news, my garden is growing, I actually have wielded some control over the weeds, and the bats have migrated back to the eaves under our back door. Again. We have frogs in the lawn and I discovered a dead mouse on my garden path.

The Back Garden
Truly, I am shocked
each spring when
things actually grow.
It never ceases to amaze
me that I haven't killed
everything growing here.

I have a new nephew about to be born in the next few weeks and I have nothing knit for him. I've been looking at patterns and yarn, and dreaming in my head, but I was suppose to have 9 whole months to come up with something great. OK, well, technically I have had 9 months. But it sure has gone by fast. And now I have nothing with which to greet him. I have several pink cupcake hats. Do you think he'd like one of those? I also have a half finished woman's size medium sweater. How about that? A beaded scarf that I've ripped out? Oh, the guilt..... I could sit here the rest of the day working on this poorly written disjointed post, but it doesn't change the fact that I have laundry to do, hats to knit, and legos to build. The fun never ends.

This week sucketh

So, last week I was going to post a picture of Leah's birthday sock and I had started writing a posting about it, but it was looking a lot like George W. wrote it himself--that is how bland and incoherent it was. And then I still had nothing interesting to say, and still yet nothing interesting to say and, well, if you wanted to hear George you could have turned on NBC this morning, thinking you were going to see Day 2 of Where In The World Is Matt Lauer, and instead you get to see George having it out with a reporter who tried to cheat and ask a 2nd follow up question in the surprise press conference when apparently that was against the rules....sigh....

And I thought about just rewriting that posting using the same picture, but the date on this post would have been wrong, and that is unacceptable in my eyes, and it would mean reimporting the picture and, even though in the time it has taken to type all of this I could have done that, I just didn't. So you get a post with no pictures today.

This week. This week I have A TON of hats to knit. Miya from Willow and Bloom called last Thursday and said all of her hats were gone. All of them. She needs more--stat! Fine. I can handle that. This week is also the week I need to get ready for the garage sale Shirley and I are having on Saturday. At first it was going to be just me and Shirley. And then it was me and Shirley and her mom. And then it was me and Shirley and her mom and her friend, Julie. And now it is me and Shirley and her mom and Julie and half of our street. Which is great because a 6 or 8 family garage sale is much more appealing to the general public, but it also means I really do have to do this garage sale. So on my calendar I designated today as Garage Sale Set Up Day to force myself to do it. Which is why you are finally getting a new post. The first of many attempts to avoid the garage.

I also need to garden. It's spring, it has been raining, and things are finally growing like weeds. Including the weeds. I have spent the last few years putting some serious time into my garden and I refuse to let it go by the wayside. Which means I need to get out there. Also, after having our septic tank pumped last fall, there is some damage I need to repair and it is just taunting me everytime I look out the kitchen window. The birdbath is crooked and there are some serious holes that need to be filled and smoothed over. I also have some pavers that need attention. Could I do this next week? Or the week after? Will my garden disintegrate if I don't get out there this week? Well, technically, no, but....

And I'm out of coffee. So I'm drinking tea purely for the caffeine. I hate tea. And I could drive to Starbucks to get a latte, but that would mean getting in the car and driving to Starbucks. So I'm drinking tea. I hate tea. Did I mention that already?

Where am I on the knitting front? I'm almost done with Leah's 2nd sock. I presented her one completed sock on her birthday, which I think she is excited about, and have been working hard on sock #2. I just love working with the Pagewood Farm sock yarn. It's yummy. I was also able to present Leah with her completed convertible mittens and am now working on a matching hat for her. My sweater is still in a big scary heap and I have another class tomorrow. I'm knitting like crazy for Willow and Bloom and I have a couple of new ideas for Venue that I'd like to get started on. In my spare time.

I ripped out the Tilli Tomas scarf. I didn't like it. If I am going to knit and wear a scarf from the beautiful coveted Tilli Tomas Flurries, I am going to love it. And I was not loving this. I did a little research on Ravelry and found another pattern, that I just happen to have in my brand new Louisa Harding Knitting Little Luxuries book, and it was adorable. Using my exact yarn. So I ripped it out and have it "resting" for a bit.

I need a haircut, I have nothing to wear, Eric keeps taking toys out of the garage sale pile, and Ryan has already earned himself Wii restriction for being a total and complete snot.

Let's see--the bright side? Hmmmm....if it does not rain in a torrential downpour this Saturday, I hope to have my garage cleared of much crap after the garage sale, my customer loved her strawberry hat, so I guess it was not as evil as I had imagined, and season 2 of Robin Hood started this week.

Must go now. Laundry, pricing, and weeding awaiteth.

Spring Break Q & A

Q. What day is it today?

A. Why, it's Day 5 of Spring Break. The end of 5 long days of no school. The very last day.

Q. Don't Saturday and Sunday count?

A. Not if you're working all weekend.

Q. Going anywhere special today?

A. Oh, we have big plans. I promised the boys a trip to the library. And we also have to go to Michaels to buy some Tacky glue for the solar-system-in-a-shoebox project.

Q. How many times do you think Eric will ask for a candy bar, conveniently located at each checkout aisle at Michaels?

A. Oh, about a million. The part I'm really looking forward to is the ride home when he laments the loss of the candy bar opportunity as if he is lamenting the loss of his only child. Eric is a world class lamenter. Honestly, Eric took lamenting lessons straight out of the Bible. His goal is to learn to rent his clothing and wear sack cloth.

Q. After gluing the planets into the solar-system-in-a-shoebox, what are your plans for the day?

A. I need to finish knitting that horrid wretched evil adult sized strawberry fruit cap that a customer special ordered and that refuses to be knit.

Q. Have you ever knit a strawberry fruit cap before?

A. Only about a million times.

Q. So what is wrong with this one?

A. It's possessed by the devil. I hate it. HATE IT. HATEITHATEITHATEITHATEIT Thunk (sound of hat being thrown across the room). I've tried knitting it 3 times and it's not working. My tension is off, the "seeds" looked weird...it. is. evil.

Q. What are you going to do?

A. I'm thinking of calling the customer and explaining that the cost of yarn has gone up and now the hat will cost her $15497613.00. She'll either pay me or cancel the order and either way I win.

Q. Any other plans today?

A. Well, since today is the first day all week the sun is actually shining and it's warmer than 24 degrees (you think I'm kidding. Our spring has been non-existent), I may go outside and pull 6 more weeds (at least that's how it feels when I'm done. I'll weed for an hour, dump about 12 buckets of weeks, and will have barely made a dent). And then I'll find the boys who have become lost and disoriented in our 4 foot tall grass and feed them something while I try to knit 4 additional cupcakes, one bunny hat, and some vikings for Willow and Bloom, who just placed another order last night.

Q. What about your housework?

A. What about it?

Q. What are you going to do about that strawberry hat?

A. Perhaps a glass of wine would help. It sure can't hurt at this point. In fact, a glass of wine may solve several of the above issues. Excuse me, I need to go....

Spring Break Day 4

Here is a list of what has been accomplished during this highly productive Spring Break:

--I have knit 4 cupcake hats, part of a convertible mitten, and several inches of Leah's birthday gift, while watching House of Mouse, trying to watch Martha, and trying not to watch the boys argue over who gets to be Green Goblin when playing Wii Spiderman Friend or Foe.

--I have helped Ryan make his solar-system-in-a-shoebox for his Spring Break homework project. I really appreciate the childless 2nd grade team at Ryan's school coming up with something productive for the 2nd grade parents to do while the 3 of them actually enjoy their spring break.

--I have done more laundry than I thought possible. It seems to be growing. I don't know where it is all coming from, but it has clearly become a lifeforce unto itself.

--I have weeded approximately 1/100000000 of my garden during the 4 hours it has not rained during Spring Break.

--My boys have created several comic books, eaten me out of house and home, morphed into both Spiderman and Indiana Jones, reached a new level of Spiderman Friend or Foe, kicked each other, shot each other with the guns made out of the clay that was suppose to be for the solar-system-in-a-shoebox, and are currently, blessedly, happily eating a pancake breakfast during Pajama Day at Emily and Daniel's next door.

--Mike and I finished watching a completely hilarious-laugh-until-you-cry Season 2 of Arrested Development and are now watching the bizarre I-can-see-why-they-canceled-it-because-clearly-they-lost-the-magic Season 3.

This is what I want to know: all those kids who are in Disneyland for Spring Break--who are they hiring to make their solar-system-in-a-shoebox?

So now what do you think?

So now what do you think?

Alright, alright--I asked for an honest opinion and I got it. A very lukewarm reception to the football helmet idea. To be honest, I wasn't sold on it either. Mike loved it and still thinks I should try to make more, but something about it wasn't right. So I came up with this instead. I do think these will sell and Mike is bringing them to Venue for me tomorrow. We'll see!

Leah's Convertible Mitten

I'm back to being a knitting maniac after hearing from Miya at Willow and Bloom the other day. First she emailed me to say she needs 3 more cupcake hats. She then emailed me again to say all the cupcake hats are gone and she now needs a total of 6. Then she called me yesterday in a panic. Apparently this customer came in the other day and looked at the cupcake hats, but didn't buy any. She then came in again yesterday and was really upset that they were all gone. She demanded to know why there was no backstock and Miya tried to explain that they are not mass produced, but rather hand knit (and I guess it was all she could do not to chide her for failing to buy the cupcakes when she saw them the first time). So the customer asked Miya to call me and ask me to knit faster. Miya and I got a good laugh out of that and I told her I would get right on that. I told Miya that I would have 4 hats for her on Friday and that I would keep working on the rest. And now the order is up to 8 cupcakes because this wacky customer is coming in on Friday to buy 2 of them.

And besides this cupcake and Husky hat business, I only have one of Leah's convertible mittens done, I've spent very little time on my sweater (and class is on Saturday morning. At 8:00 a.m.), and I'm trying to get my pink lace socks done. I love the Pagewood Farms hand dyed sock yarn so much I want to marry it.

My Socks

Seriously, in the last week this is all I have been doing. My house is dirty. My cupboards are bare. I took the kids to McDonald's for dinner last night. And I knit while they played the video games.

I need to get into the garden. My garden is so weedy and, well, it's that time of year. I have done a little preliminary gardening, but I have some serious work to do out there and I just don't have the time right now. I think I was the only person in this entire city who was excited to see our surprise March snowstorm. It was my excuse not to garden! It was God telling me to stay inside and knit. There is no gardening guilt during a snowstorm! I know it really sucked for Meghan and Cori because they got snowed on during Opening Day of the Mariner's game, but it was working out nicely for me.

Birthday Surprise

And as if I don't have enough to do, I've decided to knit something for Leah for her birthday. Her birthday is on Sunday and we'll be celebrating on the 19th. What Leah will most likely be getting from me on that day is a bag of yarn and an I.O.U., but it's a little project that makes me happy. And I don't think Leah is a Viking Hat kind of gal.

Sorry, but I don't have a lot of witty banter in me today. My mind is all twisted up with yarn. I may have just enough time to see the pregnant man on Oprah, and then it's back to work! I'll let you know what Venue thinks of the Husky hats!