Friday, August 3, 2007

I'm So Confused

Today I am doing laundry. I have a ton of laundry--it's on the floor in the laundry room, it is in baskets waiting to be folded, and it is on the couch and coffee table in segregated, folded piles. In other words, it would be apparent to anyone walking into my home that today is laundry day. I also dusted my living room and vacuumed this morning. This is happening while trying to deal with my two boys who are fighting over a black marker. Just to clarify, we have 6 different black markers, which I presented to each of them, but apparently they were each ready to risk a trip to their rooms over one particular black marker....whatever.

All this to preface the fact that it is virtually impossible for me to keep my house clean. Portions of my house are clean, but on any given day, there are always several areas in need of attention. If I'm doing my job right, then those areas change on a regular basis, but the bottom line is, I just can't keep up with all of it every day. It is phyically impossible.

Here is where I am confused: there are people out there with the spotless homes. People with small kids and you know that if you walked into their home unannouced you would find their home to be CLEAN. You all know someone like this. (Who knows, maybe you ARE that person). These are homes that have no clutter. It's as if no mail is delivered to this house. The kitchen counter contains a beautiful bowl of fruit and an espresso maker. That's it. No mail, no dishes in the sink, no alphabet magnets on the refrigerator, no loaf of bread next to the toaster, no crayons, legos, action figures under the table. And for that matter, no crumbs under the table. This house has always JUST been vacuumed. When you open the pantry, boxes of cereal don't fall on top of you--all the food is neatly organized and labeled. This is the kind of house where even the junk drawer is clean. The beds are always made and the laundry is always put away. There are 3 perfume bottles on the dresser and a wedding picture. The playroom looks like a Pottery Barn Kids catalog and the kids actually are only playing with one truck at a time.

My point is, HOW DO THEY DO THIS?? How are they able to maintain this level of insane cleanliness on a daily basis? Even on days when I really, REALLY try, I can't even come close. And I end up exhausted and frustrated as my kids proceed to destroy what I have just done. Seriously, how can EVERY SINGLE ROOM be clean all the time? I mean, what do they do when their kid comes home from a birthday party and wants to play with the goodie bag for 3 days? If I were able to have this house, where would my half-finished books go? How about my knitting projects? WHERE WOULD I PUT THE MAIL?

I'm not saying this would be a fun house in which to live. The rest of the family must fear for their lives on a regular basis. When you want to inventory your dinosaurs, they have to be displayed SOMEWHERE. But I just don't see how it is phycially possible. How can every single drawer, cupboard, and closet be neat as a pin? How can you cook dinner and not mess up the kitchen? Do these people seriously clean their bathrooms every day? Because it sure looks like it.

I long for that Stepford house, where my front porch is always swept and my lawn looks like a golf course. But I can't deal with the yard today. Today is laundry day. And if my family is really lucky, I'll even put it away.

3 comments:

Camiseta Personalizada said...
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David Smith said...

People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.
Heather Armstrong, Dooce, 07-07-06

Leah said...

clean house = persecuted children

seriously.

you need a little mess to move and feel free and creative. there are enough places in life that have to be "just so".

Home should be exactly that, home.