Auntie
The other day Tiffany emailed, asking a group of us if anyone was interested in a last minute babysitting job. For 6 week old Blake. For this little monkey pictured here.
Had this group of people been in the same room with me, I would have shoved them all to the ground in my haste to run to the front of the line, shouting "pick me pick me!!" Remember that episode of Seinfeld where George was at a children's birthday party and a fire broke out? George trampled children and shoved a grandma with a walker out of the way in his attempt to flee the building. That was pretty much my response to this request. Many lives were left hanging in the balance in my selfish quest to get my hands on that baby.
Tiffany, unaware of the cyber injuries I tried to inflict, graciously did give me the job and I was practically giddy all day at the thought of my first date with Blake. And my excitement was rewarded quite handsomely when she handed this little morsel of yumminess to me.
So this is what Blake does. He looks at you with these big monkey eyes and makes baby squeaks.
And then when you try to put him in his little bed, which is right next to you, he starts to make some little baby mumbling noises, letting you know that he is not quite perfectly and completely blissfully comfortable. So you pick him up again and he practically lets out a little baby sigh.
So Blake and I watched Maid in Manhattan while I ate my dinner with one hand. And after a while we tried this. Blake lying on my lap while I picked up my knitting. Genius. We had this happy little existence where he continued to let out little sighs, letting me know how much he completely and utterly adores me, and I got to watch tv and have no other responsibilities whatsoever and there were no older children arguing in the other room over a red marker while simultaneously placing random items all over the living room floor and under the kitchen table while my husband develops a temporary case of Tourette's, shouting random disciplinary type things their way while doing whatever he does on his laptop and watching Sports Center, failing to notice that once again he used too small of a pot to boil Ryan's pasta noodles and now pasta water is boiling all over the stovetop, forcing me to get out the special cleaner at some later date. But I digress...
So now I am in love with another man. I wonder if Tiffany needs a live-in nanny?