I am the queen of all knitting. The Knitting Queen. Best knitter in the whole entire world. There is no greater knitter than I. Behold what I have brought forth--the most beautiful sweater you have ever seen. I can't imagine how you will ever draw your eyes away from this page, now that you have seen the most stunning piece of knitting workmanship on the face of this earth. I know you're looking for a Kleenix right now to wipe the tears from your eyes so that you can continue reading. I shall become known far and wide as the supreme empress of all that is knit.
In case you haven't figured it out by now, I finished my sweater. The bane of my existence. My reason for living since February.
It has been blocked, meticulously seamed together, and I painstakingly used a tubular bind off on both button bands and the collar. Both sleeves are the same length, the two front pieces match the back piece, and the fit is proportional to my body. In other words, despite my total and utter mental block against that blasted sweater design class, it worked. I have created a beautiful garment that fits me and looks nothing like my-first-sweater.
This morning I sewed the buttons on, threw the kids in the car, and high-tailed it to the shop to present it to Shannon on a velvet cushion. Well, actually, I took it out of a plastic bag. But it is done and, when I go to work on Friday, it will be on a mannequin for all the world to admire.
It is such a complete fluke that this project is a success. An anomaly, really. I have never made a garment that has actually fit me. And I'm sure that if I ever tried designing my own sweater again, it would be met with disastrous results. And that's if things were going well. I have no explanation for this sweater. None. There is no reason that it should fit me. There is no reason that my seaming job is probably the best I have ever done. Ever. There is no reason that I had the courage to look up the invisible bind off in my Vogue Knitting book and actually attempt to try it. There is no logical explanation for the existence of this garment. And yet here it is. In the flesh.
You have my permission to express your awe.