My Glass is Half Empty Because I Drank the Beer

I sent my application to Venue a few days ago and have heard nothing yet. So in my mind they hated all the pictures I sent and never plan to contact me. That is just a small glimpse into the mind of a pessimist. I haven't even brought this to Mike's attention yet because talk like this makes him crazy. I just sent it, the owner is busy/out of town/has it in her to-do pile etc.....I can hear his exasperated voice as he explains to me for the 3979879832 time in 17 years that there is actually another way to look at things. But in my mind, until the owner of Venue calls me, I'm a big fat failure. It's not easy being green.

On the flip side, I just made 3 plush cupcakes, listed them on Etsy this morning, and sold one in about 7 minutes. I was so excited by the sale that I plan to make another one just like it this afternoon and list it as soon as I can. See, I'm a very complex person.

I have the same tug-o-war going in in my mind about summer break. In just 4 short days, life as I know it will change. Ryan will be out of school and it will be all Ryan and Eric, all the time. The thought of it frightens me. I like routine. I like the 1:00 nap time for Eric. I like the preschool schedule and how I can order my day. On the other hand, it will be really nice not to have to be up, showered, and ready to go before 8:00 am. Of course by 10:00 am, I may be ready to lock both of them in the closet. But it will be nice to hang out on the deck and read a book while the kids play in the sprinkler. Until 10 minutes later when then are done and I have a pile of wet clothes and towels and the boys are bored and start to fight over the Game Boy again.

I was all gung-ho about finding a vet to make a house call and tend to Alice, but it's not going well, so I've lost energy for it. However, the other night when Mike and I were changing our bedding AGAIN, I had a sudden revelation--what if I removed the comforter each morning. If it's not on the bed, Alice can't pee on it! Of course there is always the risk of her taking her anger out on our sheets, but it's a lot better than washing a huge down comforter every other day. But I was so proud of myself for finally finding a "solution".

I can apply this crazy mixed up emotional logic to just about any area of my life. If I don't have something to worry about, I will worry about that. It's amazing that Mike has been able to put up with me for so long. But then again, I'm not sure how he would make it through the day if he didn't have me to worry about all of the details of his life that he feels are not worth thinking about. See, I'm the glue that holds it all together!