Broken

Still haven't found the camera cable. Well, to be fair, I haven't looked for it. But since it hasn't magically appeared, I consider it still missing.

Today's theme is Things That Are Broken In My Parent's House. This is a quirky place. There are a lot of rules. Sometimes it is hard work living here. Let me show you what I mean:

1. The washer and dryer. As you may recall, a couple of years ago I bought a brand new Whirlpool Duet washer and dryer set. They are front loaders with the ever-so-important sanitizing feature and I love them. LOVE them. Now they are in storage and I am using my mom's Kenmores. I loathe these machines. The washer is constantly off balance. As in every single load. And the dryer....oh the dryer...the door won't stay open. So, you're trying to get the cold wet clothes out of the washer, and somehow re-open the dryer door that keeps slamming shut. And then you find yourself sticking your right leg inside the dryer to keep the door open while trying to get the clothes out of the washer and that is very hard to do because this washer is very tall and you are only 5'3". And all of this is happening in the space the size of a telephone booth.

2. The dishwasher. There are rules about the dishwasher. Apparently I have to completely wash and dry the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. And I can't pull both racks out at the same time or it will tip over. And I can only fill it 3/4 full. And my mom seems to have an unspoken rule about only running it when I am trying to watch tv.

3. The oven. This oven, like the rest of the house, is an antique. Right out of the set of I Love Lucy. It has the two mini doors instead of one normal sized oven space to fit things such as, oh, I don't know, a pizza...or more than two baked potatoes....and when turning the oven off, I can't actually turn it to the OFF position. I have to very carefully turn the dial to just before the OFF position until I hear a tiny little click. If I go too far then apparently we can never turn it on again.

4. The internet. My dad is all hooked up and his computer seems to work fine. We bought a wireless card, to feed off of his wireless router, so that we can have our own computer in our own space. All of this works fine when it is not raining. Any moisture in the air and our connection goes down. My dad's connection continues to work fine, but our wireless card is apparently extremely weather sensitive. A bit of a bummer up here on this blustery island. In Western Washington. In the dead of winter.

5. The propane stove. Randomly loses the pilot light. All the time.

6. Alice. Yep, she's still around. And still broken. We brought her with us because she's our cat and we didn't know what else to do. My parents have a 2 year old female cat named Lily, who has the run of the place, so letting Alice loose in the house didn't seem like a good idea. We tried finding a humane shelter for her, but no one is taking animals right now. We also tried finding a new home for her--surprisingly, no one has been interested in a 16 year old passive aggressive female cat who pees in random places just for the hell of it. I even went so far as to make that bad vet appointment, but then canceled it because I just couldn't go through with it. So she is living in our room and it's going ok. Not great. But ok. She is using her litter box, except for those times when she chooses not to, and that means our room smells like Alice's litter box. Great. I can tell she is getting feeble, but she also seems somewhat content being locked up in our room, so we're going with it for now.

7. The lights. The lights are actually fine, but my dad has this thing about turning off all the lights that, in his opinion, are not being used. Even if you are in the room. And then he will leave for the day with his tv on.

8. The phones. My parents are the only people left on earth who do not own a cordless phone. Or have caller-id. The especially comes in handy when my mom wants to talk on the phone during my tv show. Right next to me.

Other than that, we seem to be settling in up here in Amish country. I had a job interview yesterday that was very funny. It was a group interview in which four applicants met with the hiring people at the same time. Very strange dynamics. Two of the applicants seems nice. The third had clearly decided that he was going to stand out, ahead of the rest of us, and make his mark in the interview. At the beginning of the process, after introductions, they asked if we had any questions. I asked a question, the two nice people asked a question, and then I said that I had one more question. Mr. Pushy announced that I had already had my turn and that he was now going to ask questions. I have to say, that stunned me for a second. After he interrupted me and demonstrated his true customer service skills, they turned back to me and asked me if I would like to continue my question. I found the whole thing very amusing. And then again, after the interview, I ran all of my mom's errands for her. I think she likes having a wife.

I got a call back and have a one-on-one interview on Tuesday. I'm thinking Mr. Pushy maybe did not get a call back.

Have to run now. Mom has big plans for me that involve nothing I am actually choosing to do.