I am, after all, the Queen

I realize I've spent very little time discussing knitting lately. As this blog is titled The Knitting Queen, I should probably touch on actual knitting from time to time.

The fact that very little knitting has been posted as of late is NOT an indication of the amount of knitting I have been doing. Quite the contrary. The other day Mike dropped Eric off at preschool and Teacher Meghan, who had been expecting me, asked Eric where I was. Eric told her "Mommy's knitting. She always knits." Lately, that is a very true statement.

Mike has set up Excel spreadsheets of each store and project to help me keep track of my vast knitting responsibilities. He and I have lengthy discussions about my knitting projects. Yes, that's right. I spend so much time knitting that Mike has now assumed the role of my lovely assistant. He helps me with my inventory and has even been known to purchase yarn for me. If Mike didn't have 4 thumbs I would probably teach him to knit.

And just how much knitting am I doing? Anna (the owner of Zizia) has ordered 31 baby hats from me and 8 pairs of booties. I drop in each Friday with a bit more of her order and pick up a check from her. I still owe her 4 pairs of booties and 5 hats. Initially Anna sold a lot of hats, and now has sold none. I keep bringing them to her and I've questioned her order a few times. Is she sure she wants it all? Yes, she is quite sure. She has every confidence it will sell. And since she pays me up front, I'm not complaining too much. However, it is a little perplexing that the hats are not selling. Her store is very nice, in a great location, and is surrounded by other fun gift shops. So while I agree that they will sell, I'm confused about why that have not sold yet.

Venue: Venue Venue Venue. I do still love Venue, although sales there have been so-so. I am still selling there and the hats are still popular, but I guess I expected to see a big jump this time of year. It's cold, it's the holidays....for 6 months now I've been waiting for the Christmas season to see the hats really take off. And my sales are about the same as they are every month. I sell 7 or 8 hats a month and it's pretty consistent, but still. The nice thing about Venue is, I can control my inventory and make whatever I feel like. Making 9 Viking hats for Anna is starting to get a bit tedious.

And Happy Delusions? Not so happy. I have not sold a thing. Not. One. Thing. Zero. Nada. Zip. I'm confused as is Mary, the owner. I'm making no new inventory for Happy Delusions since there is nothing to replace. But if I look at the bright side, that gives me much more time for my special orders: 3 cupcakes hats for Mike's co-worker, 2 marley hats for Cori, socks for mom, hat for Jeremy, baby daisy hat for Karis--all before Christmas. And Meghan has gently nudged me about the birthday cake, which she would like before her birthday in March.

So there you go. The Knitting Queen is still knitting. Now I don't have to change the name of my blog.

A Toy Story for you

Buzz and Woody
Eric was about 2 and Ryan
about 4 when this picture was
taken. Eric is wearing Ryan's
old Buzz costume. He wore
it so much that it literally fell
apart and we had to throw it away.

Both of my boys absolutely completely loved Toy Story. Ryan started watching it when he was about 3 years old and he idolized Buzz Lightyear in much the same way my husband idolizes Ken Griffey Jr. Ryan was Buzz Lightyear. He could quote lines from the movie, he dressed in costume daily, he played with his Toy Story toys as if he were Andy himself.

Eric caught on a little quicker. I have pictures of him at 18 months old wearing the Buzz costume. And Eric adored Woody. Adored him. Ryan had a Woody doll that Eric claimed as his very own. It was to the point that we bought 18 month old Eric his own doll, but the one we bought was "sturdier" for a baby. Eric wanted nothing to do with that Woody impostor and we ended up buying another Woody, just like Ryan's, which Eric dragged around with him for what seemed like forever. In about 3 weeks time Eric's Woody looked as beat up and worn as Ryan's 2 year old version.

Eric had just turned
3 when he received
his Buzz Lightyear
lightsaber

Both boys stayed in this Toy Story phase for a long time. Buzz is every little boy's first super hero and there is something about that story, the characters, the animation....

I have to admit I was really sad when it finally became clear that the boys had outgrown Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear is so sweet and innocent when you compare him to Spiderman, Venom, and Optimus Prime.

Honestly, I don't think those toys have been touched in any way in close to a year.

There are no words....
I think this is one of my
all-time favorite pictures
of the boys. Words can't
describe how adorable 3
year old Eric was, with
his Woody doll dangling
from his hands. That
doll was permanently
adhered to Eric's hand
for a good 6 months.

About 4 days ago I had a thought. I did not say it out loud to anyone. In my head, just between me and me, I had a thought that it might be time to go through the rather large Toy Story bin and decide what to save and what to toss. I fully intend to save a Buzz and Woody for each boy, but we have so much Toy Story paraphernalia, it just seems silly to save it all. So I had this private thought, to myself.

That very day, I kid you not, Eric announced to me "hey--it's been a long time since we've played with our Toy Story toys! Can you bring them downstairs for me?"

That child, that almost-5-year-old-I-heart-Venom-kid has been watching Toy Story and playing Toy Story for 4 days now.

Clearly there is a lesson to be learned here. And that lesson is this: I have magical powers and I must learn to use them to my advantage. What thoughts can I have that will coerce my husband into sweeping the kitchen floor? How can I subliminally convince Ryan do his homework? Maybe if I think really really hard, I can cause "Todd and Margo's" blow-up atrocities to explode.

And how does any of this relate to knitting? It's as if Eric has been given a brand new box of toys. The child has never been so delighted. The movie is being seen through almost-5-year-old-eyes and now he can understand the deeper meaning in the complex relationship between Buzz and Woody. I suddenly have all the time in the world to knit. Knitting in the middle of the day has never been so easy.

Anna isn't going to know what hit her when I show up tomorrow!

Tis the season, I guess....

My house the day after Thanksgiving

I love National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I'm not necessarily proud of this, but it's true. It's as much a part of my Christmas movie tradition as It's a Wonderful Life and The Bishop's Wife (I have many layers).

Do you remember Clark and Ellen Griswold's snooty neighbors, Todd and Margo? They were completely unfriendly and had that perfect house and hated Clark Griswold. "Todd and Margo" live across the street from me. My Todd and Margo have no kids and spend all of their time working on or around their house. They have remodeled everything there is to remodel, there is not a blade of grass out of place, they wash their cars more than I wash my kids. This is all they do. From dawn to dusk, 365 days a year, they are doing something to their house, their cars, or their yard. It has taken Mike a year and a half to remodel our barn, and it's not done yet. "Todd" built one from the ground up in a weekend. They are the uber homeowners and it's simply exhausting to watch them. And it's impossible not to watch them because they are always outside, from sun up to sun down, rain or shine, in sleet and snow, perfecting their already perfect domain.

I think they hate us. No, really, I think they do. And it's not just because our lawn is always in need of a good mowing. They are really unfriendly to us (and to be fair, everyone else in the neighborhood). For most of the year, while the rest of our little cul-de-sac is hanging out in the street and chatting about the latest yard projects during which Ryan, Eric, Emily, and Daniel are racing around and around the loop, "Todd and Margo" are pretending we are not there and sending silent vibes for us to GO AWAY.

Todd and Margo's house the day after Thanksgiving

And then, for reasons we still do not understand, around mid October "Todd and Margo" transform into Clark and Ellen Griswold.

At Halloween they become That House. While we have a few pumpkins on the front porch and a cute little harvest sign hanging by the front door, "Clark and Ellen" have transformed their perfect little domicile into a haunted house. Skeletons, ghosts, an 8 foot tall blow up grim reaper, a freshly dug "grave", the talking candy bowl with the creepy hands.....they seem to love it when Ryan and Eric come to the door in costume and they greet us as old friends. After Halloween the decorations come down and they go back to pretending they've never seen us before in their lives. And then Christmas hits.

This year Clark began decorating for Christmas about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Because he needed the time. We're somewhat familiar with some of their decorations from years past, but this year Clark and Ellen did some serious shopping.

It's a winter wonderland!

Frankly, we're confused. Shirley and I talk almost every day on the phone and the conversation usually starts with "are you watching this?! What is he doing now?!"

They have pulled out all the stops. These pictures do not do it justice, but I'll see if I can paint a picture for you. Keep in mind, all of this was in place before Thanksgiving and was in full swing on Thanksgiving evening. They have:

A giant blow up snowman, giant blow up santa which pops in and out of a giant blow up chimney, a giant blow up santa riding a Harley, 3 technicolor Christmas trees that play Christmas carols, light up moving reindeer, giant light up candy canes, medium sized light up candy canes, mini light up candy canes, a neon Happy Holidays sign, a red and green Snoopy windsock, and flickering flashing lights in all the colors of the rainbow strung all over the house, shed, and landscaping, all timed to flash at different and random times. And the thing is, they're not done. They keep pulling more and more out--I can see a giant light up snowflake propped up on their deck, just waiting to be hung.

These pictures are not very good but trust me when I say, this is the tackiest, gaudiest thing you have ever seen. Nothing matches, there is no rhyme or reason to it--it is so completely unlike "Todd". At one point I remarked to Shirley "maybe he's doing this because he hates me." She decided that he put way way way too much work in to it for it to be a big screw you to our side of the street. And while I do agree with that logic, I simply have a hard time believing that Mr. and Mrs. Perfect-in-every-way could lose all control and sensibility like this. I can't even imagine what their electric bill is going to be in January.

Today, the 27th day of NOVEMBER, I am going to put my fall decorations away and perhaps get my snowman collection out. We've decided to wait a week or so on the tree, being that it's NOVEMBER and all. I have a sweet snowman I hang next to my front door each year. I'm going to teach it to blow raspberries at the Griswolds.

Weekend Update

Thanksgiving 2007

Mike and I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the 2nd time in 17 years of marriage. The first time was about 6 years ago, and it was such a disaster the entire family silently agreed to kick us out of the rotation.

Somehow it ended up back at our house this year. Mike and I knew this was our chance to redeem ourselves. I made a delicious turkey breast (and I do have to say, it was one of the best roasted turkeys I have ever had. Ryan not only ate the turkey, he even asked for more. That is your Thanksgiving miracle right there!) as well as a glazed ham, and then the normal Thanksgiving food. I even made Leah's stuffing, which I overcooked a bit, but hey, at least I branched out.

My Favorite Pan
This is what my favorite
pan looked like.
Beautiful and
expensive!

So things were going along just great. The cousins were all playing together (except for 15 1/2 year old Daniel, who spent much of the day texting his girlfriend), Mike and Jeremy were watching football, my mom and Randy were helping me cook...your typical Thanksgiving day. Then it came time to take the turkey out of the oven and make the gravy.

Since I was just making a turkey breast, I was able to use my 9x13 Pampered Chef cranberry glazed stoneware baker. It is my favorite pan. I hosted a Pampered Chef party a couple of years ago and was able to get it with my hostess points. I love this pan and use it all the time. And, with my permission, this is what Randy and my mom placed on top of the stove to make the gravy.

Not so favorite pan
And this is what
it looks like now.

About 5 minutes into the gravy-making, the pan exploded and broke into 3 large pieces, with gravy splattering everywhere. I was nearly in tears because I lost my favorite pan, and Randy was nearly in tears because we lost the turkey gravy.

But after we cleaned that up, things went back to normal and I really have nothing more to report (except for all the dishtowels I ruined by accidentally sanitizing them with my tablecloth and now they are all this disgusting grayish-pink color. The are still in the dryer. I can't bear to take them out and fold them yet). We had a really fun family time.

The Cousins
Ryan, Eric, Jack,
Ellie, and Ben

The rest of my weekend has been all about the knitting. I won't even go into how many orders I have. But all I do is knit. I delivered stuff to Anna yesterday, I'm going to Venue today...knit knit knit.... I am taking a break this afternoon and going to the movies with my mom, sisters, and niece Ellie. We're going to see Enchanted. Mom and Ellie are going for the fairy tale story line. The rest of us are going for Patrick Dempsy. And then I will come home and knit knit knit....

Knitting, knitting, knitting, knitting....

It's me again--crazy knitting lady. Still knitting, still receiving orders for Christmas from people who apparently just got the memo that I knit. Last night at book group a friend asked how much advanced notice I need for a Christmas gift for her daughter. Leah piped up and said "4 months ago, before people knew she could knit!".

Aside from the 16 hats I still owe Anna (we've decided to put a hold on the rest of the booties, thank goodness, as the ones I have made have not sold yet. And part of me hopes they never do...), I have one more marley hat to make for Cori, a special order cupcake hat that I have not been able to make until now because I couldn't find the yarn, 3 cupcake hats for Erin at Mike's office, Meghan's blasted cake that is just sitting there like a big pink and white lump, and my mom's socks.

Today is Saturday. And it is one of those glorious Saturdays where we have NOTHING TO DO! Mike was going to mow the lawn, but it's been raining. I'm going to do very little housework because I have to clean later this week for Thanksgiving. So I think I'll just sit around and KNIT KNIT KNIT and then maybe later I will READ READ READ. And do you know what is scary? I can read and knit at the same time. Yes, I am that talented. In fact, I can knit, read, and drink a glass of wine all at the same time. But not until the evening.

Did you catch the part where I have to clean for Thanksgiving? Yep, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. It's been six whole years since I tried to serve my entire family undercooked salmonella laced turkey, and they have all agreed to try it again. Truth be told, I'm not a big roasted turkey/mashed potatoes kind of gal, so this is my chance to mix it up a bit. I will be serving turkey breast and ham. Yes, that's right, I'm serving a non-turkey meat item for Thanksgiving. My dad will complain about it the entire day, right up until the time he eats all of it. Much like the way he will complain about the appetizers and the way they fill us all up before dinner (frankly, that's how I make it through the holiday), as he is stuffing his face with everything laid out before him.

I've already warned Shirley that I need to borrow her vacuum on Wednesday night (Mike and I are still in discussion about the vacuum issue. I really want a Dyson. Don't have $500 to spend right now. The replacement part for my Kenmore is $149, but after borrowing Shirley's 20 year old Hoover, it became very clear just how crappy my vacuum is and I don't want to sink even $1.49 into it. And I hate Sears and have vowed to never shop there again. So I may just run to Target and buy an $89 vacuum to get me through the holidays and then in the spring I can buy a Dyson. I don't know. Any thoughts?) and there is no point in wasting time cleaning bathrooms that I will reclean in just a few days.

I believe my biggest challenge of the day will be convincing Eric to put on clean underwear.